The Fine Art of Connecting at the Human Level - 7 Cues From the Life of The Greatest Connector (peace, blessings and salutations be upon him)
(By: Mufti Muhammad Noman Daji, Batley, UK - course.correspondence@gmail.com)
(Tuesday 17th November 2020 – 2nd Rabi-ul-Aakhir 1442 A.H)
Introduction
This piece discuses how to connect at a deep and meaningful level with fellow human beings. It is to connect at a human level that is not shallow and not defined and motivated by external and superficial factors.
In this piece I have derived seven cues from the conduct and interactions of the Greatest Connector, Prophet Muhammad (peace, blessings and salutations be upon him).
The repeated and sincere practice of these seven cues will yield great results.
Motivation
The motivation and desire to write on this great and important prophetic aspect is two folds.
The first motivation and desire is to acquire the honour to share and spread the beautiful and practical life of our most beloved Prophet Muhammad (peace, blessings and salutations be upon him). Without doubt our most beloved Prophet Muhammad (peace, blessings and salutations be upon him) is the best role model (Uswah Hasanah / أسوة حسنة) and his conduct and interactions are the most exemplary and most worthy of being spread, followed and emulated.
Connecting at the human level is one practical dimension and behaviour of the greatest human being ever to grace the earth. This is a man who significantly and for the better changed the course of history for all human beings. This is a man who had an enormous impact on world history and continues to impact humanity till this very day. This is the man who initiated an extraordinary sequence of events (fall of the two oppressive super powers of the time, etc) in just a short span of 23 years. This is a man whose legacy includes and not limited to having billions of followers who love him more than themselves and are deeply touched, inspired and influenced by his great teachings.
The second motivation and desire is to highlight the importance of connecting with fellow human beings first and foremost and purely at the human level. There is a strong need to put aside all other superficial boundaries (race, colour of skin, language, geography, etc) and worldly layers and dimensions (wealth, fame, positions, poverty, etc).
This practice of primarily connecting at the human level is more important and significant when it comes to those interactions that are carried out in the name of Islam (i.e. to spread or defend Islam). This includes any effort undertaken to spread the message and mission of our most beloved Prophet Muhammad (peace, blessings and salutations be upon him). It is vital and wholly essential that the message and mission of Islam and our most beloved Prophet Muhammad (peace, blessings and salutations be upon him) is spread employing and adopting the beautiful and practical prophetic ways. The prophetic ways are by far the most effective ways to convince and influence fellow human beings.
Note: Please note my use of ‘humans’ or ‘fellow human beings’ throughout my piece and in general in my writings. I want to drill this message to my readers of looking at people as humans and not as numbers or other superficial dimensions.
Targeted Audience
The primary target audience are each and every believer of Allah Ta’ala and follower of our most beloved Prophet, the Best of all Creation and the Most Beloved and Final Prophet of Allah Ta’ala, Prophet Muhammad (peace, blessings and salutations be upon him).
Every Muslim/Muslimah has two primary dimensions. One is they are humans and the second is they are believers in the Deen of Islam.
It is important to factor this human dimension as that affects the way we behave and interact. Human beings by nature are social animals. Hence, they need and like to interact with fellow human beings at many levels. They need to interact as part of their daily life and also to discharge their additional Deeni obligations. Hence, what better way to interact with fellow human beings than the best way there is possible. That is the way (Tareeq / طريق) of our most beloved Prophet Muhammad (peace, blessings and salutations be upon him) i.e. Tareeq Muhammady (طريق محمّدى).
These seven cues from the Greatest Connector, Prophet Muhammad (peace, blessings and salutations be upon him) are a set of practices that will help the practitioner connect with their fellow human beings to discharge their human or Deeni obligations.
Every believer needs to employ and apply the seven cues from the Greatest Connector, Prophet Muhammad (peace, blessings and salutations be upon him) into their ordinary and daily interactions with their fellow human beings too (regardless of their faith, etc).
Start employing these set of seven prophetic cues with focus to connect at the human level with your spouse (wife/husband) and your children. You can then extend it to the extended family and relatives and then continue to widen the circle of application with neighbours, colleagues and every human being you meet and encounter. Every human being you come into contact deserves this sincere respect and connection at the human level.
You can and should apply these seven prophetic cues at work and in your professional life too. This trait is about building and developing the character of Ihsan (صفت احسان) in you at every level. The character of Ihsan (صفت احسان) is to execute each and every routine act, devotional act or interaction in the best manner possible. The details and application of Ihsan (صفت احسان) will vary from act to act. This character of Ihsan (صفت احسان) needs to permeate in all your actions and interactions whether directly related to worship or indirectly like interactions with fellow human beings.
The believing men (Muslim / مسلم) and believing women (Muslimah / مسلمة) have additional obligations too. This is their dimension on top of the primary dimension of being human. Based on this second dimension each and every believer by default is an ambassador of Islam and a representative of Islam in relation to fellow human beings (whether they are close relatives or strangers).
Every action of ours draws them closer to us and Islam or distances them from us and Islam. Hence, due to this additional dimension and responsibility we need to be extra careful that we employ and apply the seven prophetic cues when we are interacting with everyone and more so when we are interacting with non-Muslims.
Out of this universal group (Muslim Ummah) I also want to direct this piece to a special sub-category of believers. This special sub-category includes those who are scholars and those involved in any form of Tableegh and Dawah work to Muslims or non-Muslims via any line and effort of Deen. The line and effort of Deen could be by being an Imam of the Masjid; conducting Islamic seminars; engaging in the Jam’at and Tableegh work; engaged in Dawah work with non-Muslims; engaged in welfare, humanitarian and charitable work; etc.
It is highly essential for this special sub-category and set of believers to embody this beautiful prophetic trait for them to be effective in their line of effort, message and mission. This is a foundational trait that without it the rapport and connection cannot be built and definitely not sustained with those they are trying to influence, help and support and draw closer to the Deen.
Practical Piece
There are two main features I include when I am writing any piece whether it is a short reflection or any reflective piece or article.
The first feature is I try to connect and build connection with the mind and spiritual heart of the targeted readers.
What I mean by connecting to the mind and spiritual heart of the targeted readers is to communicate in the language and in the style and manner that can stimulate their minds and spiritual hearts and at the same time establish mental pegs and mental holders in their minds and spiritual hearts where they can add more examples on the concept I discuss as they grow their knowledge and as they grow spirituality. I try to light the spark, light the flame, create the thirst for more and plant the seeds so the readers can nurture and grow them.
The second feature is that the vast majority (if not all) and all of my reflective pieces are action oriented. They are geared towards practice and consist of actionable items.
What that means is I am trying to share some practical pointers that are simple and can be easily adopted to one’s daily life with a teaspoon of sincerity and firm conviction.
Note: This piece has cues that are primarily for use during face to face contact but they can also be employed during telephone contact and communication. For example, calls to parents, calls to relatives, calls for Dawah purposes, etc. The human being at the other end of the line can also feel whether or not the adequate attention is being given to them during the conversation.
Definition of ‘Connecting at the Human Level
Human beings are social animals and we like to connect. However, the connection we establish with fellow human beings needs to be primarily at the basic and core human level. It should be pure and free from superficial layers and ulterior motives. It should not be based on worldly considerations and motives.
As believers the motivation to connect with fellow human beings needs to be based on showing respect to the human being we are connecting with; to fulfil and discharge our human obligations towards them and to draw people closer to Islam or into the fold of Islam.
The way I am defining ‘Connecting at the Human Level’ is to connect from the spiritual heart that is filled with respect for the human being you are connecting with purely based on humanity and compassion. This respect and compassion will manifest in your physical demeanour and interactions. The human being will feel the respect (or lack thereof). The primary goal of the interaction is to either discharge your worldly need or Deeni obligations.
The outcome of this deep humane manner of connecting will inevitably establish and build deep connections and as a result increase your influence over the other person. Influence is not the primary or end motivation. The primary and end motivation is pure. That is to get them to engage in actions that are beneficial for them in this life and in the Hereafter.
It is worth highlighting that connecting at the human level is very different from communicating with humans. Hence, out of the seven prophetic cues only one of the cues #6 - Appropriate & Compassionate Language - is related to communication. The other six cues are all non-verbal. There is a 6-1 ratio between non-verbal and verbal communication.
Prophet Muhammad (peace, blessings and salutations be upon him) - The Greatest Connector
This title is based on reality. This is not a believer trying to big up the prophet they believe in purely out of love for him.
If you asses this ability and skill of Prophet Muhammad (peace, blessings and salutations be upon him) with the definition I have given then it should be clear as day this accolade is based on reality. No other human being in the history of mankind has had this incredible level of influence that Prophet Muhammad (peace, blessings and salutations be upon him) has had on humanity and mankind. This incredible level of influence was not limited or only visible over his great Companions (رضوان الله عليهم اجمعين) who sacrificed everything for him or the believers who came after and love him and are influenced by him in every facet and sphere of life but it is evident on all of humanity.
The influence of Prophet Muhammad (peace, blessings and salutations be upon him) had on his great Companions (رضوان الله عليهم اجمعين) and how that manifested is evident. In a short span they were successful in destroying the two oppressive super powers of the time and ruling a third of the world when if you rewind back a couple of decades the Muslims were even without a home town and lacked any visible power. They were homeless in their home town and defenceless.
میں اکیلا ہی چلا تھا جانبِ منزل مگر
لوگ ساتھ آتے گئے اور کارواں بنتا گیا
This level of incredible influence is also acknowledged by non-Muslim historians and writers. It is popularly known about Prophet Muhammad (peace, blessings and salutations be upon him) being ranked as #1 by Michael H. Hart in his best seller ‘The 100: A Ranking of the Most Influential Persons in History’.
جادو وہ جو سر چڑھ کر بولے
There are other great connectors but by far the greatest connector by an incredible wide margin is without doubt Prophet Muhammad (peace, blessings and salutations be upon him).
Influence can be acquired through a range of means as the wide variety of people listed and ranked in the book ‘The 100’ indicates. However, the most meaningful and deep influence is the influence that is established and acquired by connecting with a fellow human being at the human level where there are no ulterior motives or based on superficial reasons.
This piece discusses the core and specific components to this fine art of connecting at this pure human level inspired from the life of the greatest connector, Prophet Muhammad (peace, blessings and salutations be upon him).
Allah Ta’ala dropped into my heart that by ranking our most beloved Prophet Muhammad (peace, blessings and salutations be upon him) as the #1 influential person in history there is is an implicit admission by Michael H. Hart (author of the book) that Islam is also the #1 Deen too. The Prophet of Islam, Prophet Muhammad (peace, blessings and salutations be upon him) and the Deen of Islam are two sides of the same coin. They are ‘one’ and they cannot be separated i.e. there is Talazum (تلازُم) between them.
Every teaching of this beautiful Deen of Islam is #1. The teaching is shown to us practically by our most beloved Prophet Muhammad (peace, blessings and salutations be upon him). This practical example is the best way and the #1 way to carry out any action in question.
One key thing to note is the primary inspiration of interacting with fellow human beings at this pure and humane level was the need to connect human beings to their loving and bountiful Creator. The thought of Allah Ta’ala was central and underpinned in every action and interaction.
7 Connecting Cues from The Greatest Connector
These seven prophetic connecting cues (connectors) are the components that will help you develop and master the fine art of connecting at the human level. This will pay dividends in the long term towards your message and mission.
The message and mission is to further spread, strengthen and raise the positive profile of all aspects of Islam. Also, to display humanity in all your interactions at every level of your daily life.
The non-believers you have interacted using these seven prophetic cues might not all accept Islam but they (most) will definitely come to your support and defend Islam and Muslims in your absence and in their circle of influence. That is a great victory too.
The seven connecting cues derived from the conduct and interactions (Seerat) of our most beloved Prophet Muhammad (peace, blessings and salutations be upon him) are:
1) Sincere Respect at the Core Human Level
2) Desire to Benefit (Give not Want)
3) Attention via the Body & Modest Eye Contact
4) Sincere Smile
5) Focused & Compassionate Listening
6) Appropriate & Compassionate Language
7) Care, Compassion and Supplications in Absence
I would like to mention one narration that beautifully sums up the outcome the prophetic fine art of connecting at the human level had on his Companions (رضوان الله عليهم اجمعين). Each companion (Allah be pleased with them all) felt they were the most closest to Messenger of Allah Ta’ala (peace, blessings and salutations be upon him) due to this deep connection at the human level. This is a highly noble feature and is a scarce commodity nowadays.
Hazrat Amr ibn Al’Aas (Allah be pleased with him) reported: “The Messenger of Allah Ta’ala (peace, blessings and salutations be upon him) gave attention, spoke and showed love to the worst person of a nation. So that, the person may feel he is being given special attention. He used to give attention and spoke to me also in a manner that I began to feel that I was the best among the community. (Therefore one day I plucked up the courage and) I asked: 'O Messenger of Allah! Am I better or is Abubakr better?' He replied: 'Abubakr'. I then asked: 'Am I better, or 'Umar?' He replied. ‘Umar'. I asked: 'Am I better or 'Usman?' He replied: 'Usman'. When I asked him these questions, the Messenger of Allah Ta’ala (peace, blessings and salutations be upon him) told me the truth. (He did not tell me I was better to keep me happy. Afterwards I felt ashamed of myself on this deed). I felt I should not have asked such a question.
The above narration clearly states the level of deep and humane connection our most beloved Prophet Muhammad (peace, blessings and salutations be upon him) would have with fellow human beings and companions. It also clearly shows the need to be truthful at all times.
Details on the ‘7 Connecting Cues’ from The Greatest Connector
I will briefly discuss these 7 cues to give you a flavour. Hence, it is easier to understand and then apply and employ. You can always add more examples mentally (to these seven mental pegs) as you progress in your practice and as your knowledge and insights increase in this area of deep human connection.
1) Sincere Respect at the Core Human Level
It is important to sincerely respect every human being and in particular those you are interacting with at the core human level from the depths of your hearts.
What this means is you value and respect them as a human being - full stop. The value and respect you are assigning them is not based on any worldly status or superficial criteria (e.g. beauty and attractiveness, wealth, influence, fame and popularity, positions, what they can do for you, etc). The minute you assign the value and respect of the human being you are interacting with based on these superficial things then that is the moment when your interaction and message loses the sweetness, value, essence, effect and spirit.
When this authentic and genuine respect at the very basic and core level is missing you cannot connect and you will not be able to sustain the connection even if you fake it and succceed initially.
Allah Ta’ala has granted respect and honour to mankind at its core as we learn from the Holy Quran.
وَلَقَدۡ كَرَّمۡنَا بَنِىٓ ءَادَمَ
And We have certainly honoured (and dignified) the Children of Adam. (Verse 70, Al-Isra (17), Part 15)
It was highly evident in each and every interaction of our most beloved Prophet Muhammad (peace, blessings and salutations be upon him) the level of sincere, genuine, authentic and honest respect he had for every human being at this core human level. This applied to Muslims and non-Muslims, male and female, young and old and friend and foe. This is not something he just practiced by himself but also encouraged others to emulate.
I just want to refer your mind to the Hadeeth and quote the Hadeeth that emphasises respecting human beings regardless of the living or dead and regardless of faith but purely due to the human dimension.
Hazrat Qays ibn Sa‘d and Hazrat Sahl ibn Hunayf (Allah be pleased with them both) narrates: “A funeral procession passed by the Messenger of Allah Ta’ala (peace, blessings and salutations be upon him), so he stood up. We said, “It is the funeral procession of a Jew.” He, the Messenger of Allah Ta’ala (peace, blessings and salutations be upon him) said: “Is it not a soul?”” (Bukhari, Muslim)
The human dimension is worthy of respect and dignity regardless of anything else as is evident from the above narration.
2) Desire to Benefit (Give not Want)
The chances and odds are greatly increased in your favour to connect and sustain the connection if you are connecting with someone when you are not seeking anything from them and on top of that the benefit is primarily theirs. The human being you are trying to connect with is more likely to listen, consider your message and connect and stay connected with you in this case.
If there is an ulterior motive or the intention is tainted and polluted (or turns that way) then the chances of you connecting or sustaining the connection with that human being becomes slim and will fade away.
It was the absolute slogan of all the Prophets and Messengers of Allah Ta’ala (عليهم السلام) including the leader of all prophets, our most beloved Prophet Muhammad (peace, blessings and salutations be upon him) that the primary reason to connect with fellow human beings was not to gain anything (material) from them whatsoever.
The reality was all the Prophets and Messengers of Allah Ta’ala (عليهم السلام) were all trying to make and create a blissful life for their fellow human beings in this world and to open the door of eternal salvation (Hereafter). There was no worldly benefit for any of the Prophets and Messengers of Allah Ta’ala (عليهم السلام) including the leader of all prophets, our most beloved Prophet Muhammad (peace, blessings and salutations be upon him). The sole beneficiary was the human being that was addressed.
قُلۡ مَاۤ اَسۡـئَـلُكُمۡ عَلَيۡهِ مِنۡ اَجۡرٍ وَّمَاۤ اَنَا مِنَ الۡمُتَكَلِّفِيۡنَ
Say, [O Muḥammad], “I do not ask you for it [i.e., the Qur’ān] any payment (recompense), and I am not of the pretentious (pretend and fabricate things which do not exist)” (Verse 86, Sa’d (38), Part 23)
3) Attention via the Body & Modest Eye Contact
Connection with the human being you are interacting with cannot be established and achieved when the outward respect is not seen and given. Hence, it is important to display the physical and outward attention that shows you are extending towards them in the form of complete and adequate respect, dignity and attention.
The Da’ee (caller towards Islam) will not be able to connect with the human being they are trying to reach and convey the message if the Da’ee is pre-occupied mentally or physically with other things and not extending the total attention towards the human being they are addressing. The message demands it is shared with complete focus. It was the habit of our most beloved Prophet Muhammad (peace, blessings and salutations be upon him) to immerse himself totally in the address.
What we learn from the prophetic behaviour of connecting is that our most beloved Prophet Muhammad (peace, blessings and salutations be upon him) would fully turn his body towards the person he was communicating with to show they mattered. This impact and effect of this visible display of giving full attention would be noticed and felt by the person. The deep connection it would create needs no mention. The mention of this act by the Companions (Allah be pleased with them all) clearly indicate it was well received and noticed by the companions.
Imam Tirmizi (RA) mentions in his masterpiece collection of ‘Shama’il Muhammadiyyah’ the long narration of Hazrat Ali (Allah be pleased with him) where he mentions that when the Messenger of Allah Ta’ala (peace, blessings and salutations be upon him) addressed a person he would turn his whole body towards that person. He did not only turn his face towards the person he addressed, as this is considered impolite, and sometimes, it can even denote pride. The Messenger of Allah Ta’ala (peace, blessings and salutations be upon him) faced the person he was speaking to with his chest and body.
Also, it is narrated and recorded that during the handshake our most beloved Prophet Muhammad (peace, blessings and salutations be upon him) would not remove his blessed hand from the other person until the other person removed it. This also displays the respect given to the other person and the humility of the one enacting this.
In regards to eye contact what we learn from the prophetic behaviour of connecting is that our most beloved Prophet Muhammad (peace, blessings and salutations be upon him) would have modest eye contact with the person. It was there but not overpowering and neither was it non-existent.
Hazrat Abdullah ibn Umar (Allah be pleased with them both) reported that the Messenger of Allah Ta’ala (peace, blessings and salutations be upon him) did not fix his eyesight for long on anyone due to his exceeding modesty.
I’d like to relate an incident to highlight what not to do. During my extended travels across the width and breadth of India I visited one place and arranged to meet the famous scholar residing there. I was given a time when I could meet the next day. I subsequently arrived at the right time. After the initial greetings of Salam at the door the scholar sat down and immediately started to read the daily newspaper for the day and kept his head in the newspaper. I was surprised as I had arranged to meet and was given a time and the scholar had his head stuck in the newspaper. I tried to engage the scholar to talk and ask but he would answer and talk that way. I sat a few minutes then left. I was not impressed with this interaction and is contrary to any courtesy and prophetic teachings (whoever he is).
Give attention, not tension.
I noticed countless times during the after Asar public majlis of my respected and mushfique teacher Sheikh-ul-Hadeeth & Sadr-ul-Mudarriseen of Ummul Madaris (أم المدارس) and Azhar-ul-Hind (ازهر الهند) Darul Uloom Deoband Hazrat Aqdas Moulana Mufti Saeed Aḥmad Palanpuri (RA) when any visitors would come to meet our ustaz he would ask the students to make space for them as the room would be full and then would converse with them to ask their well being and why they were coming, etc before continuing with the majlis. This is in line with the prophetic ways.
4) Sincere Smile
Smile radiates a person’s face. A smile is infectious. A smile has an impact on the other person. A smile draws the other person closer and provides space to engage, converse and eventually connect in a meaningful way.
What we learn from the prophetic behaviour of connecting is that the lips of our most beloved Prophet Muhammad (peace, blessings and salutations be upon him) was always decorated with a sincere, authentic and genuine smile.
The sincere, authentic and genuine smile has the power to attract and draw people closer to you. It is a magnetic force. It forces the other person to come closer to you. It forces them to smile and relax. A sincere, authentic and genuine smile is a key arrow in the arsenal of establishing and building a genuine connection. This way the person will be more receptive to your interaction and message of Deen and you will have more ability to influence the person for their good.
On the contrary when a person has a constant frown or a grumpy face then that cannot lead to or result in establishing and building a genuine connection. It is highly important that those believers engaged in the effort of Deen are not displaying this kind of grumpy and unfriendly attitude.
There are a number of well-known and popular Ahadeeth describing the Prophetic nature of the permanent smiles. I am just quoting two popular Hadeeths.
Aldo, the modesty of the eyes that showed in the blessed and sacred face of the Messenger of Allah Ta’ala (peace, blessings and salutations be upon him) was in fact an extension of the sincere smile alongside the immense and natural modesty he possessed.
Hazrat Abdullah ibn Al-Harith (Allah be pleased with him) reported: “I have never seen anyone who smiles more than the Messenger of Allah Ta’ala (peace, blessings and salutations be upon him).” (At-Tirmizi)
Hazrat Jarir ibn Abdullah (Allah be pleased with him) reported: “The Messenger of Allah Ta’ala (peace, blessings and salutations be upon him) never refused me permission to see him since I embraced Islam and never looked at me except with a smile (on his face).” (Muslim)
5) Focused & Compassionate Listening
Focused and deep listening is a very powerful component of connecting with a fellow human. Focused and deep listening demonstrates the person being listened to matters. It displays respect and care for them. Focused and deep listening encourages the person to open up and speak freely as they are being heard. Human beings like to be heard. Focused and deep listening fills that human need of them. There needs to be quality in the listening through the focus and deep listening.
Focused and deep listening is an incredibly powerful method to connect with human beings at the core human level.
What we learn from the life of our most beloved Prophet Muhammad (peace, blessings and salutations be upon him) is that he used to listen a lot. He used to listen, listen, listen. He used to listen to people so much that the hypocrites (Munafiqeen / منافقين) used to say in a mocking way ‘he is all ears’. The fools didn’t realise the power of deep listening to people; what impact it was having on the people being listened to and the influence it was creating and increasing of our most beloved Prophet Muhammad (peace, blessings and salutations be upon him) over them.
يَٰٓأَيُّهَا ٱلَّذِينَ ءَامَنُواْ لَا تَقُولُواْ رَٰعِنَا وَقُولُواْ ٱنظُرْنَا
O you who believe! Do not say (while addressing the Prophet): ‘Ra'ina’ (Lend ear to us - a word used also for showing disrespect for the person addressed), but say (an equivocal phrase) ‘Unzurna’ (we beg your attention). (Verse 104, Al-Baqarah (2), Part 1)
6) Appropriate & Compassionate Language
When we interact with a fellow human being we have to use the medium of language to communicate; to convey and to express our thoughts and message. There are other non-verbal methods humans employ to communicate but language is the most clear form. Hence, human beings are defined by Classical Greek philosophers as that animal that can intelligently speak and communicate (Hewan Natiq / حيوان ناطق).
However, the challenge is to communicate effectively and to employ the best and most appropriate language and the best choice of words for the given moment. This is where many fall and fail. For ordinary humans (like us) this skill can be learnt through focus and practice.
Our most beloved Prophet Muhammad (peace, blessings and salutations be upon him) was no ordinary human. Hence, he was blessed with this ability to communicate and speak in the most effective; most impactful; most appropriate language using the best choice of words.
What we also learn that most beloved Prophet Muhammad (peace, blessings and salutations be upon him) used to talk less and only talk when the situation demanded. And when he spoke it was full of wisdom. The choice of words and the manner it was rendered was perfect for the occasion and moment. What this prophetic trait tells us is it is not the quantity of our words we speak but the quality and depths in our words that matter when we do open our mouth. Some people talk a lot but the outcome is zero. It adds no or very little and insignificant value.
The language employed for every occasion by this greatest man is incredible. Those who have studied the collection of prophetic sayings (Ahadeeth / احاديث) can confidently attest to this greatness.
Ten features that come to mind in the prophetic language that embed the characteristics of being appropriate and full of compassion are:
1. The language was totally full of honesty and truth. It did not have any untruth in it.
2. The language did not contain any exaggeration. This was highly disliked, discouraged and regarded tantamount to lying as we know from the prophetic teachings.
3. The language was always full of meaning and wisdom. It never consisted of nonsensical or meaningless talk. The language and conversation was always complete. It did not contain half sentences or remained incomplete.
4. The language and tone was full of love and compassion. It was the language of love. It was the language of compassion. It did not contain hate or insults. The words would nourish the hearts and minds of the listeners and would remove any pain, grief or suffering they might be experiencing (in their bodies, minds or soul) at the time.
5. The language was very clear and audible from start to end; lucid; concise and perfect for the occasion and moment. Also, the pace was not quick or too slow. And the words and sentences were repeated twice or thrice where it was required.
6. The language (choice of words); manner and tone it was rendered in; style of delivery and level of the message it was pitched at was appropriate and perfect for the occasion and to the right level of the human it was addressed to. At times of happiness the language and tone displayed happiness; at times of anger the language and tone displayed anger; when the situation demanded the message be concise then it was kept short and to the point; when the situation demanded it be detailed then it was prolonged and expanded in a meaningful way; etc. The style was authentic too.
7. The language took into consideration of the intellectual (understanding) and other capacities and capabilities (background) of the human that was being addressed.
8. The situation and context of the addressees was considered before any address. So the most effective and poignant time was chosen. So they were in a receptive mode for the teaching.
9. The language was embedded and infused with examples the person/audience could relate with and that would get the concept and message across effectively.
10. The language was free from any swear, obscene and indecent words. It was also free from any harsh and hateful tones.
These are some high level features of the prophetic language in regards to its use with fellow human beings.
I have mentioned this point above but reiterating here to emphasise the point that connecting at the human level is very different from communicating with humans. Hence, out of the seven cues only one of the cues #6 - Appropriate & Compassionate Language - this cue - is related to communication. The other six cues are all non-verbal. There is a 6-1 ratio between non-verbal and verbal communication.
Also, it is worth mentioning a good number of years ago I presented a seminar titled along the lines of “Prophet Muhammad (peace, blessings and salutations be upon him) - The Greatest Orator”. In the seminar I presented why our most beloved Prophet Muhammad (peace, blessings and salutations be upon him) is the greatest orator based on proofs we have. This is a true title too.
The incredible thing is this oratory greatness is just one of numerous greatnesses of our most beloved Prophet Muhammad (peace, blessings and salutations be upon him). Our most beloved Prophet Muhammad (peace, blessings and salutations be upon him) embodied all the greatness of all the prophets and messengers (عليهم السلام).
Inclusion of a Seerat topic in some form which also entailed discussing one specific dimension of greatness of our most beloved Prophet Muhammad (peace, blessings and salutations be upon him) was a key feature of the seminars I was organising. Hence, it is beyond doubt what Hafiz Shirazi (RA) concluded after the initial attempts at the praises by saying:
لا يمكن الثناء كما كان حقّه
La Yumkin Ath-Thana’u Kama Kana Haqquhu
It is not possible to praise you in the manner you truly deserve. (For that reason the only thing I can say to you in a nutshell is)
بعد از خدا بزرگ توئ قصہ مختصر
Ba’d Az Khuda Buzurg Tu’ee Qissah Mukhtasar
After Allah Ta’ala you most certainly are the greatest (in all aspects of greatness). That is the short of it.
7) Care, Compassion and Supplications in Absence
Inhabiting care and compassion is an integral part of connecting at the human level. The care and compassion should be a static and an integral feature in the presence and absence of the person. However, care and compassion is more powerful when it is also displayed in the absence of the person. Normal people have a disconnect in what they say or display between these two states (presence and absence).
This care and compassion in the absence of a person also sends a very powerful message and effect on those who witness this sincere and compassionate behaviour.
Supplications in their absence and when they don’t even know is one key form of care and compassion for them. When they learn of this care and compassion their hearts will melt.
The care and compassion the blessed heart of our most beloved Prophet Muhammad (peace, blessings and salutations be upon him) had for the Companions (Allah be pleased with them all), other humans at the time and for his followers to come after him in their presence or absence is unique, unparalleled and unmatched by any human being.
There are numerous examples of how our most beloved Prophet Muhammad (peace, blessings and salutations be upon him) displayed his care and compassion in regards to his Companions (Allah be pleased with them all) by asking about them in front of them and in their absence.
I will share just two examples of care in their absence.
1. Our most beloved Prophet Muhammad (peace, blessings and salutations be upon him) noticed not seeing the lady or the man (different narrations) who would clean the Masjid Nabawi and asked of their well being. Our most beloved Prophet Muhammad (peace, blessings and salutations be upon him) was told the person had passed away. Our most beloved Prophet Muhammad (peace, blessings and salutations be upon him) asked why he was not informed so he could have prayed the Janazah Salah. The companions said they didn’t want to disturb their beloved as the death occurred at night. Our most beloved Prophet Muhammad (peace, blessings and salutations be upon him) then went to his/her grave and prayed for their forgiveness.
2. The care and compassion of our most beloved Prophet Muhammad (peace, blessings and salutations be upon him) towards the companions in question is obvious from this Hadeeth (below).
Hazrat Mu’awiyah ibn Qurrah narrates from his father, Hazrat Qurrah ibn Iyas (Allah be pleased with him) that a Sahabi would bring along his son and visit the Messenger of Allah Ta’ala (peace, blessings and salutations be upon him). the Messenger of Allah Ta’ala (peace, blessings and salutations be upon him) asked him if he loves his son. He replied yes. Thereafter this Sahabi did not visit the Messenger of Allah Ta’ala (peace, blessings and salutations be upon him) for some time. Upon enquiry, the Messenger of Allah Ta’ala (peace, blessings and salutations be upon him) was informed that his son had passed away. the Messenger of Allah Ta’ala (peace, blessings and salutations be upon him) asked him, ‘Don’t you love [the fact that] that you will find him waiting for you at the doors of Jannah’. Another Sahabi then asked, ‘O the Messenger of Allah Ta’ala! Is this reward specifically for him or for all of us’? The Messenger of Allah Ta’ala (peace, blessings and salutations be upon him) replie: ‘Rather this reward is for all of you’. (Sahih Ibn Hibban)
Our most beloved Prophet Muhammad (peace, blessings and salutations be upon him) connected and established the strong connections with those followers of his that would come after him. This shows the believers to come and the Ummah in general were never far from his blessed mind and spiritual heart. The believers to come and the Ummah were always present in his blessed mind and heart.
I will share just four examples.
1. Remembering and Expressing Desire to Meet Ummati
Hazrat Anas ibn Malik (Allah be pleased with him) reported: “The Messenger of Allah Ta’ala (peace, blessings and salutations be upon him) said: “I wish I could meet my brothers.' The Prophet’s companions (رضي الله عنهم) said: “Are we not your brothers?” The Messenger of Allah Ta’ala (peace, blessings and salutations be upon him) said: “You are my companions, but my brothers are those who have faith in me although they never saw me.”. (Musnad Aḥmad)
2. Supplication for Generation of Followers (Ummati) to Come
Once Sayyida Aishah (Allah be pleased with her) requested that the Messenger of Allah Ta’ala (peace, blessings and salutations be upon him) make du’a for her. the Messenger of Allah Ta’ala (peace, blessings and salutations be upon him) suplicated: “O Allah! forgive all Aishah’s sins; the past and future and what was done in secrecy or in public.”
Hazrat Aishah (Allah be pleased with her) became extremely happy. The Messenger of Allah Ta’ala (peace, blessings and salutations be upon him) said: “This is my du’a for my Ummah in every salah.” (Musnad Bazzar)
3. Animal Sacrifice (Qurbani) on Behalf of Ummati
Hazrat Abu Talhah (Allah be pleased with him) reported: “The Prophet (saw) sacrificed for the one who could not sacrifice from his Ummah, one who bore witness to the Oneness of Allah and [his] Prophethood.” (Tabarani, Ahmad)
4. Praises of Followers (Ummati) to Come
Praising someone is a good way to connect and even more powerful when it is done in the absence of the person concerned. The sincerity is evident then and more so when they cannot benefit you whatsoever.
I would like to share two examples of praises for the followers who would be coming. One is mentioned by name and the other is just attributed to a certain nation.
1. Praise for Hazrat Uwais Qarni (RA)
Hazrat Usair ibn Jabir (RA) reported that a delegation from Kufa came to Hazrat Umar (Allah be pleased with him) and there was a person amongst them who jeered at Hazrat Uwais Qarni (RA). Thereupon Hazrat Umar (Allah be pleased with him) said: “Is there anyone amongst you from the tribe of Qarn?” That person came forward and Hazrat Umar (Allah be pleased with him) said: “Verily the Messenger of Allah Ta’ala (peace, blessings and salutations be upon him) has said: “There would come to you a person from Yemen who would be called Uwais and he would leave none in Yemen (behind him) except his mother, and he would have the whiteness (due to leprosy) and he supplicated to Allah Ta’ala and it was cured except for the size of a dinar or dirham. He who amongst you meets him should ask him to supplicate for forgiveness (from Allah) for you.”” (Muslim)
The thought occurred to me that Hazrat Uwais Qarni (RA) showed great and immense love in absence as he could not attend in person to meet his most beloved Prophet Muhammad (peace, blessings and salutations be upon him) due to the need to take care of his mother. So our most beloved Prophet Muhammad (peace, blessings and salutations be upon him) showed even greater kindness and love in return through these praises and directing his great companions to show utmost respect of Hazrat Uwais (RA) and ask him to supplicate for forgiveness for them. سبحان الله
2. Praise for a Believer from Faris (فارس)
Hazrat Abu Hurairah (Allah be pleased with him) reported: “While we were sitting with the the Messenger of Allah Ta’ala (peace, blessings and salutations be upon him) Surat Al-Jumu'a was revealed to him, and when the Verse, "And He (Allah) has sent him (Muhammad) also to other (Muslims)....." (62:3) was recited by the the Messenger of Allah Ta’ala (peace, blessings and salutations be upon him), I said, "Who are they, O Messenger of Allah Ta’ala (peace, blessings and salutations be upon him)?” The Messenger of Allah Ta’ala (peace, blessings and salutations be upon him) did not reply till I repeated my question thrice. At that time, Hazrat Salman Al-Farsi (Allah be pleased with him) was with us. So the Messenger of Allah Ta’ala (peace, blessings and salutations be upon him) put his hand on Hazrat Salman (Allah be pleased with him), saying: “Even if Faith were at (the place of) Ath-Thuraiya (Pleiades, the highest star), then some man or men from these people (i.e. Salman's nation) would attain it.” (Bukhari)
Faris (فارس) is interpreted to mean non-Arab or of Persian origin.
This prophetic glad tiding some scholars say fits perfectly on Imam Aa’zam Imam Abu Hanifah (RA) who was non-Arab and also had Persian ancestry.
A believer who has not witnessed the Prophet Muhammad (peace, blessings and salutations be upon him) cannot but be in awe, feel connected, feel attached, touched, inspired and be influenced by this greatest connector due to these incredible care and compassion in their absence.
All these seven prophetic cues as a whole and by design from this fine art of connecting at the human level in this manner exudes sincerity, authenticity, friendliness, care, compassion, positivity, non-judgement, openness and well wishing for the other person.
It is worth highlighting that in the formulation of these seven prophetic cues to connect I have tried to cover all the three components of the ‘body, mind and soul’ framework. To be an effective connector then all these three components of the human being needs to be touched and stimulated.
Numbers 3,4,5,6 (Attention via the Body & Modest Eye Contact; Sincere Smile; Focused & Compassionate Listening and Appropriate & Compassionate Language) are related to the body whilst numbers 1,2,7 (Sincere Respect at the Core Human Level; Desire to Benefit (Give not Want) and Care, Compassion and Supplications in Absence) are related to both the mind and the soul (spiritual heart). Hence, there is a holistic approach to this formulation and method.
Another way to look at the seven prophetic cues to connect is to categorise them based on the presence or absence of the person you are trying to connect with at the human level.
Numbers 3,4,5,6 (Attention via the Body & Modest Eye Contact; Sincere Smile; Focused & Compassionate Listening and Appropriate & Compassionate Language) are related to the presence aspect as you undertake these in their presence whilst numbers 1,2,7 (Sincere Respect at the Core Human Level; Desire to Benefit (Give not Want) and Care, Compassion and Supplications in Absence) are related to absence as they are primarily done in their absence and they are more important in absence even though these aspects will exist in their presence.
A third way to look at the above seven prophetic cues is from a five senses (outer) and soul (inner) perspective.
Numbers 3,4,5,6 (Attention via the Body & Modest Eye Contact; Sincere Smile; Focused & Compassionate Listening and Appropriate & Compassionate Language) are related to the five senses of the human being whilst numbers 1,2,7 (Sincere Respect at the Core Human Level; Desire to Benefit (Give not Want) and Care, Compassion and Supplications in Absence) are related to soul (inner) aspect of the human being.
It should be clear that I have tried to include and give importance to the five senses and physical aspects (outer) alongside maintaining the inner and spiritual dimension. It is key to have the right balance between the outer and the inner.
Way Forward
To conclude this piece I am suggesting a five step method to make it easy to recall, practice and internalise the sevens prophetic cues to connect at the human level. The five steps are:
1. Firm and Sincere Intention
Make a firm intention to want to sincerely connect at the human level with those you come into contact with on a daily or regular basis or for Deeni purposes using these seven prophetic cues derived from the life of the Greatest Connector, Prophet Muhammad (peace, blessings and salutations be upon him).
2. Focus, Focus, Focus
Create the intense awareness of these seven prophetic cues in the mind and spiritual heart. So they are easily available and accessible to you when you need to apply them.
3. Practice
Start practicing these seven prophetic cues into your daily life. Practice the seven prophetic cues in both your face to face and telephone connections.
4. Repeat, Repeat, Repeat.
Apply the seven prophetic cues. Constantly and continuously practice and repeat these seven prophetic cues until you master them in all situations and connections.
5. Beseech Allah Ta’ala (Dua)
Pray, beg and ask with earnest and fervently from Allah Ta’ala that He blesses you with this prophetic trait so you can further the mission of Islam, mission of our most beloved Prophet Muhammad (peace, blessings and salutations be upon him).
O Allah Ta’ala! Grant us all the taufeeq, strength, ability and capacity to internalise these seven prophetic cues in all our interactions with our fellow human beings.
O Allah Ta’ala! Grant us all the true love of the Best of all creation and the Beloved and Final Prophet of Allah Ta’ala, Prophet Muhammad (peace, blessings and salutations be upon him) that manifests through actions and observing of the Prophetic teachings and practices.
آمین یارب العلمین بجاہ سیدالمرسلین علیہ الصلوۃ والتسلیم
و صلى الله على النبى الحبيب الشفيع الرؤوف الرحيم
Muhammad Noman Daji
course.correspondence@gmail.com
(After Fajar, Friday 20th November 2020 – 5th Rabi-ul-Aakhir 1442 A.H)
P:S: I am a graduate of Darul Uloom Deoband. I certified as an Aalim and a Mufti at this prestigious seat of advanced Islamic learning. I thought it should be mentioned (and has been suggested) so it provides some credibility and comfort for those reading (and who don’t know me).
(By: Mufti Muhammad Noman Daji, Batley, UK - course.correspondence@gmail.com)
(Tuesday 17th November 2020 – 2nd Rabi-ul-Aakhir 1442 A.H)
Introduction
This piece discuses how to connect at a deep and meaningful level with fellow human beings. It is to connect at a human level that is not shallow and not defined and motivated by external and superficial factors.
In this piece I have derived seven cues from the conduct and interactions of the Greatest Connector, Prophet Muhammad (peace, blessings and salutations be upon him).
The repeated and sincere practice of these seven cues will yield great results.
Motivation
The motivation and desire to write on this great and important prophetic aspect is two folds.
The first motivation and desire is to acquire the honour to share and spread the beautiful and practical life of our most beloved Prophet Muhammad (peace, blessings and salutations be upon him). Without doubt our most beloved Prophet Muhammad (peace, blessings and salutations be upon him) is the best role model (Uswah Hasanah / أسوة حسنة) and his conduct and interactions are the most exemplary and most worthy of being spread, followed and emulated.
Connecting at the human level is one practical dimension and behaviour of the greatest human being ever to grace the earth. This is a man who significantly and for the better changed the course of history for all human beings. This is a man who had an enormous impact on world history and continues to impact humanity till this very day. This is the man who initiated an extraordinary sequence of events (fall of the two oppressive super powers of the time, etc) in just a short span of 23 years. This is a man whose legacy includes and not limited to having billions of followers who love him more than themselves and are deeply touched, inspired and influenced by his great teachings.
The second motivation and desire is to highlight the importance of connecting with fellow human beings first and foremost and purely at the human level. There is a strong need to put aside all other superficial boundaries (race, colour of skin, language, geography, etc) and worldly layers and dimensions (wealth, fame, positions, poverty, etc).
This practice of primarily connecting at the human level is more important and significant when it comes to those interactions that are carried out in the name of Islam (i.e. to spread or defend Islam). This includes any effort undertaken to spread the message and mission of our most beloved Prophet Muhammad (peace, blessings and salutations be upon him). It is vital and wholly essential that the message and mission of Islam and our most beloved Prophet Muhammad (peace, blessings and salutations be upon him) is spread employing and adopting the beautiful and practical prophetic ways. The prophetic ways are by far the most effective ways to convince and influence fellow human beings.
Note: Please note my use of ‘humans’ or ‘fellow human beings’ throughout my piece and in general in my writings. I want to drill this message to my readers of looking at people as humans and not as numbers or other superficial dimensions.
Targeted Audience
The primary target audience are each and every believer of Allah Ta’ala and follower of our most beloved Prophet, the Best of all Creation and the Most Beloved and Final Prophet of Allah Ta’ala, Prophet Muhammad (peace, blessings and salutations be upon him).
Every Muslim/Muslimah has two primary dimensions. One is they are humans and the second is they are believers in the Deen of Islam.
It is important to factor this human dimension as that affects the way we behave and interact. Human beings by nature are social animals. Hence, they need and like to interact with fellow human beings at many levels. They need to interact as part of their daily life and also to discharge their additional Deeni obligations. Hence, what better way to interact with fellow human beings than the best way there is possible. That is the way (Tareeq / طريق) of our most beloved Prophet Muhammad (peace, blessings and salutations be upon him) i.e. Tareeq Muhammady (طريق محمّدى).
These seven cues from the Greatest Connector, Prophet Muhammad (peace, blessings and salutations be upon him) are a set of practices that will help the practitioner connect with their fellow human beings to discharge their human or Deeni obligations.
Every believer needs to employ and apply the seven cues from the Greatest Connector, Prophet Muhammad (peace, blessings and salutations be upon him) into their ordinary and daily interactions with their fellow human beings too (regardless of their faith, etc).
Start employing these set of seven prophetic cues with focus to connect at the human level with your spouse (wife/husband) and your children. You can then extend it to the extended family and relatives and then continue to widen the circle of application with neighbours, colleagues and every human being you meet and encounter. Every human being you come into contact deserves this sincere respect and connection at the human level.
You can and should apply these seven prophetic cues at work and in your professional life too. This trait is about building and developing the character of Ihsan (صفت احسان) in you at every level. The character of Ihsan (صفت احسان) is to execute each and every routine act, devotional act or interaction in the best manner possible. The details and application of Ihsan (صفت احسان) will vary from act to act. This character of Ihsan (صفت احسان) needs to permeate in all your actions and interactions whether directly related to worship or indirectly like interactions with fellow human beings.
The believing men (Muslim / مسلم) and believing women (Muslimah / مسلمة) have additional obligations too. This is their dimension on top of the primary dimension of being human. Based on this second dimension each and every believer by default is an ambassador of Islam and a representative of Islam in relation to fellow human beings (whether they are close relatives or strangers).
Every action of ours draws them closer to us and Islam or distances them from us and Islam. Hence, due to this additional dimension and responsibility we need to be extra careful that we employ and apply the seven prophetic cues when we are interacting with everyone and more so when we are interacting with non-Muslims.
Out of this universal group (Muslim Ummah) I also want to direct this piece to a special sub-category of believers. This special sub-category includes those who are scholars and those involved in any form of Tableegh and Dawah work to Muslims or non-Muslims via any line and effort of Deen. The line and effort of Deen could be by being an Imam of the Masjid; conducting Islamic seminars; engaging in the Jam’at and Tableegh work; engaged in Dawah work with non-Muslims; engaged in welfare, humanitarian and charitable work; etc.
It is highly essential for this special sub-category and set of believers to embody this beautiful prophetic trait for them to be effective in their line of effort, message and mission. This is a foundational trait that without it the rapport and connection cannot be built and definitely not sustained with those they are trying to influence, help and support and draw closer to the Deen.
Practical Piece
There are two main features I include when I am writing any piece whether it is a short reflection or any reflective piece or article.
The first feature is I try to connect and build connection with the mind and spiritual heart of the targeted readers.
What I mean by connecting to the mind and spiritual heart of the targeted readers is to communicate in the language and in the style and manner that can stimulate their minds and spiritual hearts and at the same time establish mental pegs and mental holders in their minds and spiritual hearts where they can add more examples on the concept I discuss as they grow their knowledge and as they grow spirituality. I try to light the spark, light the flame, create the thirst for more and plant the seeds so the readers can nurture and grow them.
The second feature is that the vast majority (if not all) and all of my reflective pieces are action oriented. They are geared towards practice and consist of actionable items.
What that means is I am trying to share some practical pointers that are simple and can be easily adopted to one’s daily life with a teaspoon of sincerity and firm conviction.
Note: This piece has cues that are primarily for use during face to face contact but they can also be employed during telephone contact and communication. For example, calls to parents, calls to relatives, calls for Dawah purposes, etc. The human being at the other end of the line can also feel whether or not the adequate attention is being given to them during the conversation.
Definition of ‘Connecting at the Human Level
Human beings are social animals and we like to connect. However, the connection we establish with fellow human beings needs to be primarily at the basic and core human level. It should be pure and free from superficial layers and ulterior motives. It should not be based on worldly considerations and motives.
As believers the motivation to connect with fellow human beings needs to be based on showing respect to the human being we are connecting with; to fulfil and discharge our human obligations towards them and to draw people closer to Islam or into the fold of Islam.
The way I am defining ‘Connecting at the Human Level’ is to connect from the spiritual heart that is filled with respect for the human being you are connecting with purely based on humanity and compassion. This respect and compassion will manifest in your physical demeanour and interactions. The human being will feel the respect (or lack thereof). The primary goal of the interaction is to either discharge your worldly need or Deeni obligations.
The outcome of this deep humane manner of connecting will inevitably establish and build deep connections and as a result increase your influence over the other person. Influence is not the primary or end motivation. The primary and end motivation is pure. That is to get them to engage in actions that are beneficial for them in this life and in the Hereafter.
It is worth highlighting that connecting at the human level is very different from communicating with humans. Hence, out of the seven prophetic cues only one of the cues #6 - Appropriate & Compassionate Language - is related to communication. The other six cues are all non-verbal. There is a 6-1 ratio between non-verbal and verbal communication.
Prophet Muhammad (peace, blessings and salutations be upon him) - The Greatest Connector
This title is based on reality. This is not a believer trying to big up the prophet they believe in purely out of love for him.
If you asses this ability and skill of Prophet Muhammad (peace, blessings and salutations be upon him) with the definition I have given then it should be clear as day this accolade is based on reality. No other human being in the history of mankind has had this incredible level of influence that Prophet Muhammad (peace, blessings and salutations be upon him) has had on humanity and mankind. This incredible level of influence was not limited or only visible over his great Companions (رضوان الله عليهم اجمعين) who sacrificed everything for him or the believers who came after and love him and are influenced by him in every facet and sphere of life but it is evident on all of humanity.
The influence of Prophet Muhammad (peace, blessings and salutations be upon him) had on his great Companions (رضوان الله عليهم اجمعين) and how that manifested is evident. In a short span they were successful in destroying the two oppressive super powers of the time and ruling a third of the world when if you rewind back a couple of decades the Muslims were even without a home town and lacked any visible power. They were homeless in their home town and defenceless.
میں اکیلا ہی چلا تھا جانبِ منزل مگر
لوگ ساتھ آتے گئے اور کارواں بنتا گیا
This level of incredible influence is also acknowledged by non-Muslim historians and writers. It is popularly known about Prophet Muhammad (peace, blessings and salutations be upon him) being ranked as #1 by Michael H. Hart in his best seller ‘The 100: A Ranking of the Most Influential Persons in History’.
جادو وہ جو سر چڑھ کر بولے
There are other great connectors but by far the greatest connector by an incredible wide margin is without doubt Prophet Muhammad (peace, blessings and salutations be upon him).
Influence can be acquired through a range of means as the wide variety of people listed and ranked in the book ‘The 100’ indicates. However, the most meaningful and deep influence is the influence that is established and acquired by connecting with a fellow human being at the human level where there are no ulterior motives or based on superficial reasons.
This piece discusses the core and specific components to this fine art of connecting at this pure human level inspired from the life of the greatest connector, Prophet Muhammad (peace, blessings and salutations be upon him).
Allah Ta’ala dropped into my heart that by ranking our most beloved Prophet Muhammad (peace, blessings and salutations be upon him) as the #1 influential person in history there is is an implicit admission by Michael H. Hart (author of the book) that Islam is also the #1 Deen too. The Prophet of Islam, Prophet Muhammad (peace, blessings and salutations be upon him) and the Deen of Islam are two sides of the same coin. They are ‘one’ and they cannot be separated i.e. there is Talazum (تلازُم) between them.
Every teaching of this beautiful Deen of Islam is #1. The teaching is shown to us practically by our most beloved Prophet Muhammad (peace, blessings and salutations be upon him). This practical example is the best way and the #1 way to carry out any action in question.
One key thing to note is the primary inspiration of interacting with fellow human beings at this pure and humane level was the need to connect human beings to their loving and bountiful Creator. The thought of Allah Ta’ala was central and underpinned in every action and interaction.
7 Connecting Cues from The Greatest Connector
These seven prophetic connecting cues (connectors) are the components that will help you develop and master the fine art of connecting at the human level. This will pay dividends in the long term towards your message and mission.
The message and mission is to further spread, strengthen and raise the positive profile of all aspects of Islam. Also, to display humanity in all your interactions at every level of your daily life.
The non-believers you have interacted using these seven prophetic cues might not all accept Islam but they (most) will definitely come to your support and defend Islam and Muslims in your absence and in their circle of influence. That is a great victory too.
The seven connecting cues derived from the conduct and interactions (Seerat) of our most beloved Prophet Muhammad (peace, blessings and salutations be upon him) are:
1) Sincere Respect at the Core Human Level
2) Desire to Benefit (Give not Want)
3) Attention via the Body & Modest Eye Contact
4) Sincere Smile
5) Focused & Compassionate Listening
6) Appropriate & Compassionate Language
7) Care, Compassion and Supplications in Absence
I would like to mention one narration that beautifully sums up the outcome the prophetic fine art of connecting at the human level had on his Companions (رضوان الله عليهم اجمعين). Each companion (Allah be pleased with them all) felt they were the most closest to Messenger of Allah Ta’ala (peace, blessings and salutations be upon him) due to this deep connection at the human level. This is a highly noble feature and is a scarce commodity nowadays.
Hazrat Amr ibn Al’Aas (Allah be pleased with him) reported: “The Messenger of Allah Ta’ala (peace, blessings and salutations be upon him) gave attention, spoke and showed love to the worst person of a nation. So that, the person may feel he is being given special attention. He used to give attention and spoke to me also in a manner that I began to feel that I was the best among the community. (Therefore one day I plucked up the courage and) I asked: 'O Messenger of Allah! Am I better or is Abubakr better?' He replied: 'Abubakr'. I then asked: 'Am I better, or 'Umar?' He replied. ‘Umar'. I asked: 'Am I better or 'Usman?' He replied: 'Usman'. When I asked him these questions, the Messenger of Allah Ta’ala (peace, blessings and salutations be upon him) told me the truth. (He did not tell me I was better to keep me happy. Afterwards I felt ashamed of myself on this deed). I felt I should not have asked such a question.
The above narration clearly states the level of deep and humane connection our most beloved Prophet Muhammad (peace, blessings and salutations be upon him) would have with fellow human beings and companions. It also clearly shows the need to be truthful at all times.
Details on the ‘7 Connecting Cues’ from The Greatest Connector
I will briefly discuss these 7 cues to give you a flavour. Hence, it is easier to understand and then apply and employ. You can always add more examples mentally (to these seven mental pegs) as you progress in your practice and as your knowledge and insights increase in this area of deep human connection.
1) Sincere Respect at the Core Human Level
It is important to sincerely respect every human being and in particular those you are interacting with at the core human level from the depths of your hearts.
What this means is you value and respect them as a human being - full stop. The value and respect you are assigning them is not based on any worldly status or superficial criteria (e.g. beauty and attractiveness, wealth, influence, fame and popularity, positions, what they can do for you, etc). The minute you assign the value and respect of the human being you are interacting with based on these superficial things then that is the moment when your interaction and message loses the sweetness, value, essence, effect and spirit.
When this authentic and genuine respect at the very basic and core level is missing you cannot connect and you will not be able to sustain the connection even if you fake it and succceed initially.
Allah Ta’ala has granted respect and honour to mankind at its core as we learn from the Holy Quran.
وَلَقَدۡ كَرَّمۡنَا بَنِىٓ ءَادَمَ
And We have certainly honoured (and dignified) the Children of Adam. (Verse 70, Al-Isra (17), Part 15)
It was highly evident in each and every interaction of our most beloved Prophet Muhammad (peace, blessings and salutations be upon him) the level of sincere, genuine, authentic and honest respect he had for every human being at this core human level. This applied to Muslims and non-Muslims, male and female, young and old and friend and foe. This is not something he just practiced by himself but also encouraged others to emulate.
I just want to refer your mind to the Hadeeth and quote the Hadeeth that emphasises respecting human beings regardless of the living or dead and regardless of faith but purely due to the human dimension.
Hazrat Qays ibn Sa‘d and Hazrat Sahl ibn Hunayf (Allah be pleased with them both) narrates: “A funeral procession passed by the Messenger of Allah Ta’ala (peace, blessings and salutations be upon him), so he stood up. We said, “It is the funeral procession of a Jew.” He, the Messenger of Allah Ta’ala (peace, blessings and salutations be upon him) said: “Is it not a soul?”” (Bukhari, Muslim)
The human dimension is worthy of respect and dignity regardless of anything else as is evident from the above narration.
2) Desire to Benefit (Give not Want)
The chances and odds are greatly increased in your favour to connect and sustain the connection if you are connecting with someone when you are not seeking anything from them and on top of that the benefit is primarily theirs. The human being you are trying to connect with is more likely to listen, consider your message and connect and stay connected with you in this case.
If there is an ulterior motive or the intention is tainted and polluted (or turns that way) then the chances of you connecting or sustaining the connection with that human being becomes slim and will fade away.
It was the absolute slogan of all the Prophets and Messengers of Allah Ta’ala (عليهم السلام) including the leader of all prophets, our most beloved Prophet Muhammad (peace, blessings and salutations be upon him) that the primary reason to connect with fellow human beings was not to gain anything (material) from them whatsoever.
The reality was all the Prophets and Messengers of Allah Ta’ala (عليهم السلام) were all trying to make and create a blissful life for their fellow human beings in this world and to open the door of eternal salvation (Hereafter). There was no worldly benefit for any of the Prophets and Messengers of Allah Ta’ala (عليهم السلام) including the leader of all prophets, our most beloved Prophet Muhammad (peace, blessings and salutations be upon him). The sole beneficiary was the human being that was addressed.
قُلۡ مَاۤ اَسۡـئَـلُكُمۡ عَلَيۡهِ مِنۡ اَجۡرٍ وَّمَاۤ اَنَا مِنَ الۡمُتَكَلِّفِيۡنَ
Say, [O Muḥammad], “I do not ask you for it [i.e., the Qur’ān] any payment (recompense), and I am not of the pretentious (pretend and fabricate things which do not exist)” (Verse 86, Sa’d (38), Part 23)
3) Attention via the Body & Modest Eye Contact
Connection with the human being you are interacting with cannot be established and achieved when the outward respect is not seen and given. Hence, it is important to display the physical and outward attention that shows you are extending towards them in the form of complete and adequate respect, dignity and attention.
The Da’ee (caller towards Islam) will not be able to connect with the human being they are trying to reach and convey the message if the Da’ee is pre-occupied mentally or physically with other things and not extending the total attention towards the human being they are addressing. The message demands it is shared with complete focus. It was the habit of our most beloved Prophet Muhammad (peace, blessings and salutations be upon him) to immerse himself totally in the address.
What we learn from the prophetic behaviour of connecting is that our most beloved Prophet Muhammad (peace, blessings and salutations be upon him) would fully turn his body towards the person he was communicating with to show they mattered. This impact and effect of this visible display of giving full attention would be noticed and felt by the person. The deep connection it would create needs no mention. The mention of this act by the Companions (Allah be pleased with them all) clearly indicate it was well received and noticed by the companions.
Imam Tirmizi (RA) mentions in his masterpiece collection of ‘Shama’il Muhammadiyyah’ the long narration of Hazrat Ali (Allah be pleased with him) where he mentions that when the Messenger of Allah Ta’ala (peace, blessings and salutations be upon him) addressed a person he would turn his whole body towards that person. He did not only turn his face towards the person he addressed, as this is considered impolite, and sometimes, it can even denote pride. The Messenger of Allah Ta’ala (peace, blessings and salutations be upon him) faced the person he was speaking to with his chest and body.
Also, it is narrated and recorded that during the handshake our most beloved Prophet Muhammad (peace, blessings and salutations be upon him) would not remove his blessed hand from the other person until the other person removed it. This also displays the respect given to the other person and the humility of the one enacting this.
In regards to eye contact what we learn from the prophetic behaviour of connecting is that our most beloved Prophet Muhammad (peace, blessings and salutations be upon him) would have modest eye contact with the person. It was there but not overpowering and neither was it non-existent.
Hazrat Abdullah ibn Umar (Allah be pleased with them both) reported that the Messenger of Allah Ta’ala (peace, blessings and salutations be upon him) did not fix his eyesight for long on anyone due to his exceeding modesty.
I’d like to relate an incident to highlight what not to do. During my extended travels across the width and breadth of India I visited one place and arranged to meet the famous scholar residing there. I was given a time when I could meet the next day. I subsequently arrived at the right time. After the initial greetings of Salam at the door the scholar sat down and immediately started to read the daily newspaper for the day and kept his head in the newspaper. I was surprised as I had arranged to meet and was given a time and the scholar had his head stuck in the newspaper. I tried to engage the scholar to talk and ask but he would answer and talk that way. I sat a few minutes then left. I was not impressed with this interaction and is contrary to any courtesy and prophetic teachings (whoever he is).
Give attention, not tension.
I noticed countless times during the after Asar public majlis of my respected and mushfique teacher Sheikh-ul-Hadeeth & Sadr-ul-Mudarriseen of Ummul Madaris (أم المدارس) and Azhar-ul-Hind (ازهر الهند) Darul Uloom Deoband Hazrat Aqdas Moulana Mufti Saeed Aḥmad Palanpuri (RA) when any visitors would come to meet our ustaz he would ask the students to make space for them as the room would be full and then would converse with them to ask their well being and why they were coming, etc before continuing with the majlis. This is in line with the prophetic ways.
4) Sincere Smile
Smile radiates a person’s face. A smile is infectious. A smile has an impact on the other person. A smile draws the other person closer and provides space to engage, converse and eventually connect in a meaningful way.
What we learn from the prophetic behaviour of connecting is that the lips of our most beloved Prophet Muhammad (peace, blessings and salutations be upon him) was always decorated with a sincere, authentic and genuine smile.
The sincere, authentic and genuine smile has the power to attract and draw people closer to you. It is a magnetic force. It forces the other person to come closer to you. It forces them to smile and relax. A sincere, authentic and genuine smile is a key arrow in the arsenal of establishing and building a genuine connection. This way the person will be more receptive to your interaction and message of Deen and you will have more ability to influence the person for their good.
On the contrary when a person has a constant frown or a grumpy face then that cannot lead to or result in establishing and building a genuine connection. It is highly important that those believers engaged in the effort of Deen are not displaying this kind of grumpy and unfriendly attitude.
There are a number of well-known and popular Ahadeeth describing the Prophetic nature of the permanent smiles. I am just quoting two popular Hadeeths.
Aldo, the modesty of the eyes that showed in the blessed and sacred face of the Messenger of Allah Ta’ala (peace, blessings and salutations be upon him) was in fact an extension of the sincere smile alongside the immense and natural modesty he possessed.
Hazrat Abdullah ibn Al-Harith (Allah be pleased with him) reported: “I have never seen anyone who smiles more than the Messenger of Allah Ta’ala (peace, blessings and salutations be upon him).” (At-Tirmizi)
Hazrat Jarir ibn Abdullah (Allah be pleased with him) reported: “The Messenger of Allah Ta’ala (peace, blessings and salutations be upon him) never refused me permission to see him since I embraced Islam and never looked at me except with a smile (on his face).” (Muslim)
5) Focused & Compassionate Listening
Focused and deep listening is a very powerful component of connecting with a fellow human. Focused and deep listening demonstrates the person being listened to matters. It displays respect and care for them. Focused and deep listening encourages the person to open up and speak freely as they are being heard. Human beings like to be heard. Focused and deep listening fills that human need of them. There needs to be quality in the listening through the focus and deep listening.
Focused and deep listening is an incredibly powerful method to connect with human beings at the core human level.
What we learn from the life of our most beloved Prophet Muhammad (peace, blessings and salutations be upon him) is that he used to listen a lot. He used to listen, listen, listen. He used to listen to people so much that the hypocrites (Munafiqeen / منافقين) used to say in a mocking way ‘he is all ears’. The fools didn’t realise the power of deep listening to people; what impact it was having on the people being listened to and the influence it was creating and increasing of our most beloved Prophet Muhammad (peace, blessings and salutations be upon him) over them.
يَٰٓأَيُّهَا ٱلَّذِينَ ءَامَنُواْ لَا تَقُولُواْ رَٰعِنَا وَقُولُواْ ٱنظُرْنَا
O you who believe! Do not say (while addressing the Prophet): ‘Ra'ina’ (Lend ear to us - a word used also for showing disrespect for the person addressed), but say (an equivocal phrase) ‘Unzurna’ (we beg your attention). (Verse 104, Al-Baqarah (2), Part 1)
6) Appropriate & Compassionate Language
When we interact with a fellow human being we have to use the medium of language to communicate; to convey and to express our thoughts and message. There are other non-verbal methods humans employ to communicate but language is the most clear form. Hence, human beings are defined by Classical Greek philosophers as that animal that can intelligently speak and communicate (Hewan Natiq / حيوان ناطق).
However, the challenge is to communicate effectively and to employ the best and most appropriate language and the best choice of words for the given moment. This is where many fall and fail. For ordinary humans (like us) this skill can be learnt through focus and practice.
Our most beloved Prophet Muhammad (peace, blessings and salutations be upon him) was no ordinary human. Hence, he was blessed with this ability to communicate and speak in the most effective; most impactful; most appropriate language using the best choice of words.
What we also learn that most beloved Prophet Muhammad (peace, blessings and salutations be upon him) used to talk less and only talk when the situation demanded. And when he spoke it was full of wisdom. The choice of words and the manner it was rendered was perfect for the occasion and moment. What this prophetic trait tells us is it is not the quantity of our words we speak but the quality and depths in our words that matter when we do open our mouth. Some people talk a lot but the outcome is zero. It adds no or very little and insignificant value.
The language employed for every occasion by this greatest man is incredible. Those who have studied the collection of prophetic sayings (Ahadeeth / احاديث) can confidently attest to this greatness.
Ten features that come to mind in the prophetic language that embed the characteristics of being appropriate and full of compassion are:
1. The language was totally full of honesty and truth. It did not have any untruth in it.
2. The language did not contain any exaggeration. This was highly disliked, discouraged and regarded tantamount to lying as we know from the prophetic teachings.
3. The language was always full of meaning and wisdom. It never consisted of nonsensical or meaningless talk. The language and conversation was always complete. It did not contain half sentences or remained incomplete.
4. The language and tone was full of love and compassion. It was the language of love. It was the language of compassion. It did not contain hate or insults. The words would nourish the hearts and minds of the listeners and would remove any pain, grief or suffering they might be experiencing (in their bodies, minds or soul) at the time.
5. The language was very clear and audible from start to end; lucid; concise and perfect for the occasion and moment. Also, the pace was not quick or too slow. And the words and sentences were repeated twice or thrice where it was required.
6. The language (choice of words); manner and tone it was rendered in; style of delivery and level of the message it was pitched at was appropriate and perfect for the occasion and to the right level of the human it was addressed to. At times of happiness the language and tone displayed happiness; at times of anger the language and tone displayed anger; when the situation demanded the message be concise then it was kept short and to the point; when the situation demanded it be detailed then it was prolonged and expanded in a meaningful way; etc. The style was authentic too.
7. The language took into consideration of the intellectual (understanding) and other capacities and capabilities (background) of the human that was being addressed.
8. The situation and context of the addressees was considered before any address. So the most effective and poignant time was chosen. So they were in a receptive mode for the teaching.
9. The language was embedded and infused with examples the person/audience could relate with and that would get the concept and message across effectively.
10. The language was free from any swear, obscene and indecent words. It was also free from any harsh and hateful tones.
These are some high level features of the prophetic language in regards to its use with fellow human beings.
I have mentioned this point above but reiterating here to emphasise the point that connecting at the human level is very different from communicating with humans. Hence, out of the seven cues only one of the cues #6 - Appropriate & Compassionate Language - this cue - is related to communication. The other six cues are all non-verbal. There is a 6-1 ratio between non-verbal and verbal communication.
Also, it is worth mentioning a good number of years ago I presented a seminar titled along the lines of “Prophet Muhammad (peace, blessings and salutations be upon him) - The Greatest Orator”. In the seminar I presented why our most beloved Prophet Muhammad (peace, blessings and salutations be upon him) is the greatest orator based on proofs we have. This is a true title too.
The incredible thing is this oratory greatness is just one of numerous greatnesses of our most beloved Prophet Muhammad (peace, blessings and salutations be upon him). Our most beloved Prophet Muhammad (peace, blessings and salutations be upon him) embodied all the greatness of all the prophets and messengers (عليهم السلام).
Inclusion of a Seerat topic in some form which also entailed discussing one specific dimension of greatness of our most beloved Prophet Muhammad (peace, blessings and salutations be upon him) was a key feature of the seminars I was organising. Hence, it is beyond doubt what Hafiz Shirazi (RA) concluded after the initial attempts at the praises by saying:
لا يمكن الثناء كما كان حقّه
La Yumkin Ath-Thana’u Kama Kana Haqquhu
It is not possible to praise you in the manner you truly deserve. (For that reason the only thing I can say to you in a nutshell is)
بعد از خدا بزرگ توئ قصہ مختصر
Ba’d Az Khuda Buzurg Tu’ee Qissah Mukhtasar
After Allah Ta’ala you most certainly are the greatest (in all aspects of greatness). That is the short of it.
7) Care, Compassion and Supplications in Absence
Inhabiting care and compassion is an integral part of connecting at the human level. The care and compassion should be a static and an integral feature in the presence and absence of the person. However, care and compassion is more powerful when it is also displayed in the absence of the person. Normal people have a disconnect in what they say or display between these two states (presence and absence).
This care and compassion in the absence of a person also sends a very powerful message and effect on those who witness this sincere and compassionate behaviour.
Supplications in their absence and when they don’t even know is one key form of care and compassion for them. When they learn of this care and compassion their hearts will melt.
The care and compassion the blessed heart of our most beloved Prophet Muhammad (peace, blessings and salutations be upon him) had for the Companions (Allah be pleased with them all), other humans at the time and for his followers to come after him in their presence or absence is unique, unparalleled and unmatched by any human being.
There are numerous examples of how our most beloved Prophet Muhammad (peace, blessings and salutations be upon him) displayed his care and compassion in regards to his Companions (Allah be pleased with them all) by asking about them in front of them and in their absence.
I will share just two examples of care in their absence.
1. Our most beloved Prophet Muhammad (peace, blessings and salutations be upon him) noticed not seeing the lady or the man (different narrations) who would clean the Masjid Nabawi and asked of their well being. Our most beloved Prophet Muhammad (peace, blessings and salutations be upon him) was told the person had passed away. Our most beloved Prophet Muhammad (peace, blessings and salutations be upon him) asked why he was not informed so he could have prayed the Janazah Salah. The companions said they didn’t want to disturb their beloved as the death occurred at night. Our most beloved Prophet Muhammad (peace, blessings and salutations be upon him) then went to his/her grave and prayed for their forgiveness.
2. The care and compassion of our most beloved Prophet Muhammad (peace, blessings and salutations be upon him) towards the companions in question is obvious from this Hadeeth (below).
Hazrat Mu’awiyah ibn Qurrah narrates from his father, Hazrat Qurrah ibn Iyas (Allah be pleased with him) that a Sahabi would bring along his son and visit the Messenger of Allah Ta’ala (peace, blessings and salutations be upon him). the Messenger of Allah Ta’ala (peace, blessings and salutations be upon him) asked him if he loves his son. He replied yes. Thereafter this Sahabi did not visit the Messenger of Allah Ta’ala (peace, blessings and salutations be upon him) for some time. Upon enquiry, the Messenger of Allah Ta’ala (peace, blessings and salutations be upon him) was informed that his son had passed away. the Messenger of Allah Ta’ala (peace, blessings and salutations be upon him) asked him, ‘Don’t you love [the fact that] that you will find him waiting for you at the doors of Jannah’. Another Sahabi then asked, ‘O the Messenger of Allah Ta’ala! Is this reward specifically for him or for all of us’? The Messenger of Allah Ta’ala (peace, blessings and salutations be upon him) replie: ‘Rather this reward is for all of you’. (Sahih Ibn Hibban)
Our most beloved Prophet Muhammad (peace, blessings and salutations be upon him) connected and established the strong connections with those followers of his that would come after him. This shows the believers to come and the Ummah in general were never far from his blessed mind and spiritual heart. The believers to come and the Ummah were always present in his blessed mind and heart.
I will share just four examples.
1. Remembering and Expressing Desire to Meet Ummati
Hazrat Anas ibn Malik (Allah be pleased with him) reported: “The Messenger of Allah Ta’ala (peace, blessings and salutations be upon him) said: “I wish I could meet my brothers.' The Prophet’s companions (رضي الله عنهم) said: “Are we not your brothers?” The Messenger of Allah Ta’ala (peace, blessings and salutations be upon him) said: “You are my companions, but my brothers are those who have faith in me although they never saw me.”. (Musnad Aḥmad)
2. Supplication for Generation of Followers (Ummati) to Come
Once Sayyida Aishah (Allah be pleased with her) requested that the Messenger of Allah Ta’ala (peace, blessings and salutations be upon him) make du’a for her. the Messenger of Allah Ta’ala (peace, blessings and salutations be upon him) suplicated: “O Allah! forgive all Aishah’s sins; the past and future and what was done in secrecy or in public.”
Hazrat Aishah (Allah be pleased with her) became extremely happy. The Messenger of Allah Ta’ala (peace, blessings and salutations be upon him) said: “This is my du’a for my Ummah in every salah.” (Musnad Bazzar)
3. Animal Sacrifice (Qurbani) on Behalf of Ummati
Hazrat Abu Talhah (Allah be pleased with him) reported: “The Prophet (saw) sacrificed for the one who could not sacrifice from his Ummah, one who bore witness to the Oneness of Allah and [his] Prophethood.” (Tabarani, Ahmad)
4. Praises of Followers (Ummati) to Come
Praising someone is a good way to connect and even more powerful when it is done in the absence of the person concerned. The sincerity is evident then and more so when they cannot benefit you whatsoever.
I would like to share two examples of praises for the followers who would be coming. One is mentioned by name and the other is just attributed to a certain nation.
1. Praise for Hazrat Uwais Qarni (RA)
Hazrat Usair ibn Jabir (RA) reported that a delegation from Kufa came to Hazrat Umar (Allah be pleased with him) and there was a person amongst them who jeered at Hazrat Uwais Qarni (RA). Thereupon Hazrat Umar (Allah be pleased with him) said: “Is there anyone amongst you from the tribe of Qarn?” That person came forward and Hazrat Umar (Allah be pleased with him) said: “Verily the Messenger of Allah Ta’ala (peace, blessings and salutations be upon him) has said: “There would come to you a person from Yemen who would be called Uwais and he would leave none in Yemen (behind him) except his mother, and he would have the whiteness (due to leprosy) and he supplicated to Allah Ta’ala and it was cured except for the size of a dinar or dirham. He who amongst you meets him should ask him to supplicate for forgiveness (from Allah) for you.”” (Muslim)
The thought occurred to me that Hazrat Uwais Qarni (RA) showed great and immense love in absence as he could not attend in person to meet his most beloved Prophet Muhammad (peace, blessings and salutations be upon him) due to the need to take care of his mother. So our most beloved Prophet Muhammad (peace, blessings and salutations be upon him) showed even greater kindness and love in return through these praises and directing his great companions to show utmost respect of Hazrat Uwais (RA) and ask him to supplicate for forgiveness for them. سبحان الله
2. Praise for a Believer from Faris (فارس)
Hazrat Abu Hurairah (Allah be pleased with him) reported: “While we were sitting with the the Messenger of Allah Ta’ala (peace, blessings and salutations be upon him) Surat Al-Jumu'a was revealed to him, and when the Verse, "And He (Allah) has sent him (Muhammad) also to other (Muslims)....." (62:3) was recited by the the Messenger of Allah Ta’ala (peace, blessings and salutations be upon him), I said, "Who are they, O Messenger of Allah Ta’ala (peace, blessings and salutations be upon him)?” The Messenger of Allah Ta’ala (peace, blessings and salutations be upon him) did not reply till I repeated my question thrice. At that time, Hazrat Salman Al-Farsi (Allah be pleased with him) was with us. So the Messenger of Allah Ta’ala (peace, blessings and salutations be upon him) put his hand on Hazrat Salman (Allah be pleased with him), saying: “Even if Faith were at (the place of) Ath-Thuraiya (Pleiades, the highest star), then some man or men from these people (i.e. Salman's nation) would attain it.” (Bukhari)
Faris (فارس) is interpreted to mean non-Arab or of Persian origin.
This prophetic glad tiding some scholars say fits perfectly on Imam Aa’zam Imam Abu Hanifah (RA) who was non-Arab and also had Persian ancestry.
A believer who has not witnessed the Prophet Muhammad (peace, blessings and salutations be upon him) cannot but be in awe, feel connected, feel attached, touched, inspired and be influenced by this greatest connector due to these incredible care and compassion in their absence.
All these seven prophetic cues as a whole and by design from this fine art of connecting at the human level in this manner exudes sincerity, authenticity, friendliness, care, compassion, positivity, non-judgement, openness and well wishing for the other person.
It is worth highlighting that in the formulation of these seven prophetic cues to connect I have tried to cover all the three components of the ‘body, mind and soul’ framework. To be an effective connector then all these three components of the human being needs to be touched and stimulated.
Numbers 3,4,5,6 (Attention via the Body & Modest Eye Contact; Sincere Smile; Focused & Compassionate Listening and Appropriate & Compassionate Language) are related to the body whilst numbers 1,2,7 (Sincere Respect at the Core Human Level; Desire to Benefit (Give not Want) and Care, Compassion and Supplications in Absence) are related to both the mind and the soul (spiritual heart). Hence, there is a holistic approach to this formulation and method.
Another way to look at the seven prophetic cues to connect is to categorise them based on the presence or absence of the person you are trying to connect with at the human level.
Numbers 3,4,5,6 (Attention via the Body & Modest Eye Contact; Sincere Smile; Focused & Compassionate Listening and Appropriate & Compassionate Language) are related to the presence aspect as you undertake these in their presence whilst numbers 1,2,7 (Sincere Respect at the Core Human Level; Desire to Benefit (Give not Want) and Care, Compassion and Supplications in Absence) are related to absence as they are primarily done in their absence and they are more important in absence even though these aspects will exist in their presence.
A third way to look at the above seven prophetic cues is from a five senses (outer) and soul (inner) perspective.
Numbers 3,4,5,6 (Attention via the Body & Modest Eye Contact; Sincere Smile; Focused & Compassionate Listening and Appropriate & Compassionate Language) are related to the five senses of the human being whilst numbers 1,2,7 (Sincere Respect at the Core Human Level; Desire to Benefit (Give not Want) and Care, Compassion and Supplications in Absence) are related to soul (inner) aspect of the human being.
It should be clear that I have tried to include and give importance to the five senses and physical aspects (outer) alongside maintaining the inner and spiritual dimension. It is key to have the right balance between the outer and the inner.
Way Forward
To conclude this piece I am suggesting a five step method to make it easy to recall, practice and internalise the sevens prophetic cues to connect at the human level. The five steps are:
1. Firm and Sincere Intention
Make a firm intention to want to sincerely connect at the human level with those you come into contact with on a daily or regular basis or for Deeni purposes using these seven prophetic cues derived from the life of the Greatest Connector, Prophet Muhammad (peace, blessings and salutations be upon him).
2. Focus, Focus, Focus
Create the intense awareness of these seven prophetic cues in the mind and spiritual heart. So they are easily available and accessible to you when you need to apply them.
3. Practice
Start practicing these seven prophetic cues into your daily life. Practice the seven prophetic cues in both your face to face and telephone connections.
4. Repeat, Repeat, Repeat.
Apply the seven prophetic cues. Constantly and continuously practice and repeat these seven prophetic cues until you master them in all situations and connections.
5. Beseech Allah Ta’ala (Dua)
Pray, beg and ask with earnest and fervently from Allah Ta’ala that He blesses you with this prophetic trait so you can further the mission of Islam, mission of our most beloved Prophet Muhammad (peace, blessings and salutations be upon him).
O Allah Ta’ala! Grant us all the taufeeq, strength, ability and capacity to internalise these seven prophetic cues in all our interactions with our fellow human beings.
O Allah Ta’ala! Grant us all the true love of the Best of all creation and the Beloved and Final Prophet of Allah Ta’ala, Prophet Muhammad (peace, blessings and salutations be upon him) that manifests through actions and observing of the Prophetic teachings and practices.
آمین یارب العلمین بجاہ سیدالمرسلین علیہ الصلوۃ والتسلیم
و صلى الله على النبى الحبيب الشفيع الرؤوف الرحيم
Muhammad Noman Daji
course.correspondence@gmail.com
(After Fajar, Friday 20th November 2020 – 5th Rabi-ul-Aakhir 1442 A.H)
P:S: I am a graduate of Darul Uloom Deoband. I certified as an Aalim and a Mufti at this prestigious seat of advanced Islamic learning. I thought it should be mentioned (and has been suggested) so it provides some credibility and comfort for those reading (and who don’t know me).
